March 20, 2013

Coffee with Cream

It's amazing what God can accomplish through a cup of coffee with flavored creamer.

In the last 12 years I've lost a marriage, two pregnancies (in a year), a home house, my mother, and my mother-in-law. And in losing my first marriage, I lost my view of myself.

But with this one cup of coffee, I've gained so much more.

For the past 12 years, I have allowed my ex-husband to make me see myself as ugly, unlovable, and LESS, instead of seeing myself through God's eyes, where I am beautiful, loved, and worth more than I can possibly imagine.

I'm tired of seeing myself through my eyes.

So through this one cup of coffee, with creamer given to me by my Regnum Christi sisters with a simple note and much love, my eyesight is starting to improve. And not just because I finally have caffeine in my system!

They see me. Weekly they see the real me, and they love me. They've seen me through happy, and they've seen me through sad. They've seen me through excess, and they've seen me through want. They've seen me contribute, and they've seen me sit silent. And through it all, they see ME, and they love me. 

I want to start seeing myself through THEIR eyes. 

It's going to take more than this one cup of coffee. It might take these entire two bottles of creamer, left on the seat of my van with a simple note by hearts full of love. But as I feel the warmth of the coffee flowing through my system, I can feel the warmth of their love flowing around me. And I can believe that maybe, just maybe, there IS more to me than meets the eye.